Testing of new layout

I've changed my layout completely. Mostly because I messed up the old layout and it just seemed easier to pick a new template! haha I've (re)discovered a downside of Blogger - my photos were linked to a picasa web album that I deleted, not realizing that would affect past entries. And so, there are now many old entries with missing photos. Oops. I don't know why the photos weren't embedded as permanent fixtures in the blog...it's a mystery to me. I was going to resurrect my old SlowTrav blog but I'm unable to access it (a report's been filed...apparently it's not a priority.) So I'm in blog limbo...still trying to decide which platform to use if ever I'm able to migrate my ST blog elsewhere. Maybe I'll try wordpress...

Breathtaking

O beautiful earth and sky, you take my breath away...

Then you breathe it back into my being

filling me with love and light.

And I am renewed.

A resurrection story

I was browsing through one of my books, Soul Weavings: A Gathering of Women's Prayers, edited by Lyn Klug, and came across this poem:

O God,
through the image of a woman crucified on the cross
I understand at last. 

For over half my life I have been ashamed of the scars I bear.
These scars tell an ugly story, a common story,
about a girl who is the victim of sexual abuse. 

In the warmth, peace, and sunlight of your presence
I was able to uncurl the tightly clenched fists.
For the first time I felt your suffering presence
      with me in that event. 

I have known you as a vulnerable baby,
as a brother, and as a father.
Now I know you as a woman.
You were there with me
as the violated girl caught in helpless suffering. 

The chains of fear no longer bind my heart and body.
A slow fire of compassion and forgiveness is kindled.
My tears now fall for man as well as woman. 

You were not ashamed of your wounds.
You showed them to Thomas
      as marks of your ordeal and death.
I will no longer hide these wounds of mine.
I will bear them gracefully.
They will tell a resurrection story.

Anonymous, inspired by the figure of a woman, arms outstretched as if crucified, hung below the cross in a chapel in Toronto, Canada.

The poem struck me deeply on so many levels...anguish for how this woman suffered, deep grief for the reality that it IS an all too common story. But her resilience also fills me with such joy and hope...God's amazing grace birthing new life in all its scarred glory. A powerful story of resurrection.

Fallow time...

After all the mandatory reading and writing I have to do for school - books and articles and commentaries...research papers and essays and reflections - I must confess I'm not feeling much desire to write in my spare time. But I will be graduating in May (if all goes well) and I hope my love of writing will come back to me once I'm finished school. In the meantime...here is a poem by a favourite poet (William Carlos Williams) and an image by a favourite photographer (me!)

Winter Trees

All the complicated details

of the attiring and

the disattiring are completed!

A liquid moon

moves gently among

the long branches.

Thus having prepared their buds

against a sure winter

the wise trees

stand sleeping in the cold.

~ William Carlos Williams

Fulfilment

Fulfilment    By  Bernard Thorogood

The leaf was made for dancing

And the cloud for shade at noon

The breeze was made for freshness

When the sea gleams in the moon

The waves were made for stirring

And the mountains to be still

The daisies made for sunlight

And great trees to clothe the hill

And everything that you have made

Was good in your sight Lord

For all things have a part to play

And nothing is ignored

You lead the way from seed to fruit

From womb to birth to youth

You trust all to be mature

To handle love and truth

Now help us Lord to give a place

To every living thing

To know the good that you have made

That every voice may sing

A friend just shared that poem and my response was:

Oh My God I love this poem!!! It resonates so deeply with my belief that we are all Good. Enough. Just as we are. Who tells a burbling brook or a crashing ocean wave or a dancing leaf to be "better", "faster", "straighter", "more than..." than the amazing creation it already is? If only we could learn to accept each other in the same way.  "And everything that you have made was good in your sight Lord." What if, instead of insisting on the dominant culture's paradigm of continuous improvement, constantly seeking to excel and striving for perfection, we decided to fully embrace and celebrate ourselves and each other just as God made us? How subversive and wonderful that would be. That is my prayer for today and always :)

Let me add that I DO still believe we need to grow and change in order to thrive as we move through this journey of life. It's just that I think we expand and become our true amazing selves through positive reinforcement and affirmation, rather than through seeing ourselves as "not quite there yet", always feeling slightly short of the mark. Our creativity explodes exponentially when we feel loved and accepted for who we are. When we celebrate our gifts, when we share them for the sheer joy of being in relationship, and bring all that we are to the circle...that's where the growth and transformation is possible. Be free from the burden getting it "right" and from thinking that we must be ALL things for ALL people ALL the time (which, of course, isn't even within the realm of possibility for anyone!) Let go of thinking in terms of being "better" than who we are, and fully live into being the amazing people we already are.

I'm not always great at this myself...but I keep trying!